She is not an object (2 Samuel 13-14; Acts 28

A moment’s gratification produces a lifetime of misery and pain. That is the tragic result of David’s adultery. In the following chapters in 2 Samuel we see the mess he caused. Like his father, Amnon allows his lust to control his heart. He sees a beautiful woman and he wants her. Our world may describe this desire as love, Amnon couldn’t get her out of his mind, but this was not love. One writer describes it this way:

“The ingredients of a genuine love are altogether lacking: there is no self-giving commitment, no seeking of the other’s highest good, no sensitive devotion, not even a hint of romance; there is only naked physical lust and an utterly self-centred disregard for Tamar’s personal integrity, welfare and blessedness. Amnon is consumed, not by what he could do for her, but by what he wanted desperately to do to her.” (Gordon Keddie)

Sadly Amnon has a lousy friend (Jonadab) who helps him to carry out his lustful intentions in treating his beautiful, godly half-sister as an object rather than as a person made in the image of God. Men have a duty to protect women, but Jonadab helps Amnon to abuse Tamar instead.

As they carry out his wicked plan, Tamar pleads with him, but he forces himself on her, and afterwards hates her. In a moment he ruins her life and his. She has done nothing wrong but feels a sense of shame over what has been done to her. He has committed an awful sin, but now feels humiliated because he used force on her and so now he hates her.

Look at the hurt that is caused by taking God’s good gift of sex outside of the loving boundaries that he put around it. How many women today are destroyed and shamed because of the wickedness of pornography and lust that is constantly promoted and celebrated.

Where can Tamar turn? Her father is angry about what happens, but totally fails to do anything. Perhaps he was aware of his own awful example, but having repented of this, he should have taught his children differently. He should have impressed on his sons the need to treat women with respect and dignity.

Where can Tamar turn? Her only hope is in the God who will cover the shame she feels, perhaps these words may help:

“The Lord your God is in your midst,
    a mighty one who will save;
he will rejoice over you with gladness;
    he will quiet you by his love;
he will exult over you with loud singing.” (Zephaniah 3:17)

In our Lord Jesus, we find a man who treated women with respect, and welcomed those who had been mistreated. They found him to be gentle and lowly and that only He gave them rest for their souls.

He offers rest to those mistreated, incredibly he offers forgiveness even to men (and women) who have done awful things. But it’s not cheap forgiveness. It cost him his life, and it is only given to those who repent. For those who refuse to repent, they will face Jesus not as a forgiving friend, but as a mighty warrior who will tread the winepress of the fury of God (Revelation 19:15). Here is the God-man you can trust.